epiphany

Today I had an epiphany but first I need to tell my struggle for my epiphany to make sense.

So, as you probably know I am in the very long process of becoming Catholic. It has been VERY hard for me so far. It has been intimidating, and Alex hasn't been behind me 100%, I have had a hard time reading the material because it is so many new concepts and words I don't understand, praying has been nearly impossible because I can't concentrate, and I have been in the worst mood imaginable for the last month. All summer Alex and I were doing a pretty good job regularly going to mass and all of a sudden we haven't been in weeks.

As a part of the process we have to attend mass and be apart of "rites", we get blessed and Father Porter anoints us with oil. Tonight I asked why it is oil instead of holy water and she told us that oil is a sign of strength. Ancients Romans covered their bodies in oil during battles so that nobody could get a hold of them because they would be so slick (haha). Oil also has several other meanings but I can't remember them all. The symbolization of the oil is that it protects us from Satan as we are entering this process. (the oil has been anointed also, its not just olive oil :P)

That really makes alot of sense to me, and it also makes sense as to why there have been so many obstacles in my way to trying to get myself together and have a spiritual life. And that is my epiphany, it will be nice when I feel God more than Satan because lately I feel like I have an evil cloud surrounding me.