-I clear the history on my computer about every 10 minutes. I live alone. who is going to look at it?! You would think i was a porn addict or something.
-Last week I was about to reverse out of my garage and Alex thought it would be funny to grab my boob and I put the car in DRIVE by accident and almost ran into my fucking living room. I am not sure how I would have explained that one to my mom.
-Last night I went to dinner at Carrabba's and a lady with her infant was at the table behind me. She ordered a cocktail and spilled it on herself and the baby. She was then pissed and left. I think she deserved it.
-My mom bought me stamps and they have wedding bands on them. she is so subtle.
-I tried on shorts from a few years ago and they literally looked like plaid underwear. obscene
have a great weekend people!
this made me laugh. stamps with wedding bands on them huh? hahaha
ReplyDeleteThis is probably my favorite:
ReplyDelete"-Last week I was about to reverse out of my garage and Alex thought it would be funny to grab my boob and I put the car in DRIVE by accident and almost ran into my fucking living room. I am not sure how I would have explained that one to my mom."
I would've helped you come up with something ;]