old journal entry

Tonight I was reading my journal and it always cracks me up to read this stuff I wrote 3 years ago. What a drama QUEEN!!! I mean it was only 3 years ago and I feel like I am a completely different person. I guess that is what happens when you grow up. My idea was to post a diary entry on here every once in a while! Just promise not to judge me because I was freaking nuts apparently haha. Oh and I am changing the names on here (except Alex & Jesse) just because I can see this somehow coming back and slapping me in the face. I am posting from the summer of 2007 which was officially the WILDEST summer of my life and I attribute that to the fact that Alex broke my heart in the beginning of it and I was doing anything I could to forget him.

Ok this entry is just flat out funny. I sound really full of myself and I was haha. I think this is why God made me gain weight. I can't even believe I am talking about 3 guys in this entry!

July 8, 2007
Ok Alex still hasn't gotten up with me. But hes old news...speaking of old news I gave Jesse a ride to peaches house tonight..and he was ignorant about it. Honestly, I only did it so he could see how hot I am haha. Yea and Isaac, I like him. Even though I keep hearing all this dramatic bullshit about him...I wish girls would just leave us alone and stop gossiping. Im going to Betsys now! Ciao

(I am actually proud of this next blog. I think I was starting to get a clue!)

August 5, 2007
The first step to getting rid of Jesse is to realize that I am co-dependent on him. I always use the excuse "I picked the phone up because we have always been there for each other" but you know what, he has NEVER been there for me. A part of him wears away at me and I need to figure out what it is about myself that keeps getting worn away by him. 30 years down the road he will probably be alone and sadly enough could be in this same position and I have no doubt that if I don't change he will keep doing this to me. Its not enough to vow to myself that I won't talk to him. I need to really work at it and want it. And I do want it. Co-dependent people thrive on co-dependent people. So I am getting rid of all my boy toys except Alex. There is no need to be seeing twenty guys. I need to learn to love myself enough to not need a guy to make me happy...except Alex. i really like him. haha. So thats my thoughts.

UM YAY goo Jamie. Maybe I wasn't entirely crazy. I can honestly say this is the last entry I ever wrote about Jesse.

Well more to come of this in further blogs. I think I can chalk these up as learning experiences!